I had some thoughts in my sleepy head this morning, but all of them flew away without waiting till I manage to write them down.
…Ah, I just told about it and suddenly they’ve returned.
Today I’m thinking that if a person asks him/herself - “Do I REALLY love her/him?” then perhaps he/she doesn’t REALLY love her/him.
The thing is… true love can’t be explained and it’s not the thing that we can analyze. It just pops up in front of you as the matter of fact, and you are to accept it without trying to formulate anything. True feelings can’t be analyzed… that’s it. If you begin analyzing then they’re not true.
So if only I begin asking myself - “Do I REALLY love him?”, it’s a signal to stop and cool down and think well.
Enough. Enough of yearning for something which can’t happen. Enough of love in the distance. I’ll better stop right now, while I’m still asking myself if it’s real love, than when it’s too late. I don’t want more pain, crying at night and desperate rhymes. So I just keep silence - what else should I do? Draw him? Seems like I can’t draw him, and it’s not lack of skill, but...
Right now I’m just drifting.
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